Tempting Fate

I found this little essay while cleaning up the drive on the laptop. Written a couple of years ago I recall many conversations with the Almighty on the topic of adversity, temptation, and gratitude.

To Amanda: so you thought your bee sting was bad.

Along with friend and golfing partner the “the pro from Black Butte” and another twosome, father son team from Hawaii (recently transplanted to Oreegone) a beautiful morning on the links at Quail Valley was being enjoyed by all.

“Bee’s seem aggressive,” says father

.

“Yeh it is that time of year,” notes Yours Truly.

Number 11, just completed in an ignominious fashion with at two pars, a bogey and a double. Leaving to your imagination who got what. (You are probably wrong.) Approaching number 12, a hole which as always seemed kind to Yours Truly; a well struck drive is secured by “The Pro, Yours Truly, and Son.” Father drifts in adverse fashion to the right.

“Things are looking good,” Yours Truly thinks.” The second shot puts the ball in the rough on the left but with a well struck five iron lands gloriously close to the pin. Not in regulation but a par putt is within reason. Father recovers, The Pro hacks off to the right and Son drops on the fringe. 

Confidently approaching the green Yours Truly is thinking ‘ha, I got this one.’ As Son is away he is first up, right line but short, Dad, blows it completely sailing past the hole and The Pro puts it on the lip. Yours Truly is welling with confidence when a reflexive swat at the neck releases a sharp twinge of pain. “Son of a  b,” is the wail, when he looks down to see a bee in his last moments on earth.

“What’s wrong,” asks The Pro?

“Bee sting,” replies Yours Truly. A sharp pain building in his neck.

“Well you are up,” he states flatly.

The first putt is short, the second misses by the width of the lip, and Yours Truly ends with a three putt and double bogey. Walking back to the bee, now a cadaver, and mutters softly, “God one, me zero.”

The reactive leader

As a high schooler I remember a teacher who spent some time on teaching the difference between acting on a problem and reacting to a situation. The gist of the lesson was one step was thoughtful, considered, planned, and then it may or may not be executed (acted upon.) the other is the complete antithesis. Guess which on on is which.

We are watching, with what should be growing alarm, a very reactive national leadership. Reacting to problems, criticism, or crisis leads to some very bad decisions. This kind of response is made in the heat when emotions get in the way and typically in an atmosphere of self absorption and selfishness. In other words the reactive leader only thinks the pain they experience and not about potential outcomes within the organization.

As I trained managers and leaders impressing them to allow some time before responding to a problem was often the most difficult. It is easy to allow ourselves the luxury of thinking we are the only ones aggrieved. Effective leaders must set such behavior aside. At the national level we see a leader acting impetuously creating an atmosphere of distrust and uncertainty. At the local level it is the same with the added problem tainting their own future as gossip and intrigue takes over the bus.

Who are the stakeholders

After my “retirement” continuing to blog about leadership/followership from a hands on perspective seemed problematic. Discussing a leaders role from the outside is best left to others more familiar with the psychology rather than the actual mechanics.  Now finding myself in a greater leadership role in a small non-profit,  completing an RFP response for a small production company last fall, and I can’t help myself; looking askance at our political leaders (even though there are many much smarter than me commenting on the current climate every day) there still is an abundance of discussion material.

It is important to remember there are lessons all around us, every day, to learn for ourselves how to be better leaders in our respective communities. I have discussed in previous entries the difficulty of sorting those issues into meaningful application.  A calm and critical perspective of “good” leadership is frustrating to parse in a world of 24/7 news, multitudinous sources of opinion, and the knee jerk, reactions to the emotionally charged non-data/fact decision making so in vogue.

It is also important to keep in mind where you may find yourself in a leadership role. It is easy to forget there are many moments in your day to exercise critical skills. First recognize this role is a fundamental element of human relationships. Jesus of Nazareth told his disciples that wherever two or more of you are gathered together (in His name) He would be there also. Well, he did not mention ‘so will politics’. This is not a bad thing but it is best to recognize there will be competing agendas,usually but not always, so recognize that fact.

In a small organization the successful follower is going to put a priority on understanding who the principle stakeholders are and deciding whether those agendas are worth supporting. If not get out and move on. There is no sense in burning emotional energy trying to change the organizations culture. Sometimes recognizing the principle stakeholder(s) is easy—say the owner of the business. Sometimes it is not as easy, or it takes time, as the stakeholders are varied and there are multiple roles. In time you become vested, or there are stakeholders whose agenda you can get on the bus with, but that agenda conflicts with other stakeholders.

This is what we are going to explore over the next few weeks so I hope both my readers enjoy the discussion.