Getting Older

Back in August we said good by to my wife's mother. She suffered briefly from an illness. As I started this blog my intent was to reflect on leadership; what I observed in people who demonstrated good leadership, not so good leadership, and comments on how setting a good example (a piece of the measure of leadership) is to be incorported into our daily lives. Of course this approach can lead to some meandering thought! So let's see where this trail goes.

Yesterday my wife and her sister sat down to go through some of the personal property as proscibed by the will, and in the course of their conversations (which I have stayed out of for the most part) they discussed the demands of their work. They both manage people and processes and complained about how it seems a good deal of their time is re-acting to the demands of their staff. Without looking or listening to the details of the issues I commented, "seems to me you are both enablers." That comment was not an exhibit of good leadership, but this post is not about me and I digress. Coaching staff, subordinates, even our children to attain better behavior, self criticisim, and problem solving can be extraordinarly difficult, because it takes time. Time away from meeting deadlines, schedules, and other (we judge) more important issues. Also we may sabatoge our own efforts particularly in problem solving if our protoge makes an error in judgement and the coaching and criticism are not handled properly. Have you ever thought 'wow, I won't do that again!' That is what they will think if you, on the one had encourage them to solve problems and, then criticise the outcome in a non-contstructive fashion. Teaching children presents the special challenge as their selling methodology can be insistent and they are quite adept at catching the parent when most vulnerable. The sisters may be more self aware, and I doubt they will change their management style (damage is done with the children), but at least now they know.